MTV's Most Insulting Programs • Teenagers have it hard enough as it is than to try and live up to these MTV shows.

America's Most Superfluous Yet Self-Important Magazines • They're big, slick, expensive—and have zero actual content.

Coffee-Table Book Artists Who Market Their Gimmicks to Death • God only knows how much money they make creating the same "artwork" year after year.

Movie Critics Who Will Shill for Anything • Does anyone really believe their newspaper-ad quotes?

Unnecessary Guidebooks For Complete Idiots • There are a few thousand of those how-to books for idiots. Here are the most idiotic.

Sport Utility Vehicles That Are Neither Sporty Nor Utilitarian • Got a bad case of penis-envy and $50,000 to drop? Here are the trucks for you!

Crappy Movies That HBO Won't Stop Repeating • "It's Not TV. It's a Bunch of Bad Movies From the '80s."

Useless "As Seen On TV" Products • Products that you didn't know you needed—and you really don't.

The Most Embarrassing "Official" Celebrity Websites • Testing even the patience of worshipful fans, these celebrity websites stink up the Internet.

VH1 "Divas" Who Don't Deserve the Title • Not just anyone can be called a diva—unless you've got an in at VH1.

The Most Tasteless Porcelain Figurines • People may indeed buy anything labeled "collectible," but why these?

Most Horrendous Rip-Offs of The Osbournes • Soon, every faded celebrity will become famous for another 15 minutes.

Celebrity Trends That Never Actually Swept the Nation • If Jay-Z wears designer flak jackets, does that mean we have to as well?

Celebrities We Never Wanted to See Naked • Thank you, Playboy. Thank you for the brain-searing image of a naked Chyna.

Pop Singers Who Rename Themselves • They may not be putting out good music, but—hey!—check out their new names!

Everyday Terrorist-Threat Supplies • Yes, you can ward off biological weapons with little more than chewing gum and Glad bags!

Celebrity Memoirs Nobody Asked For • Who knew there was such a huge market for tell-nothing memoirs by 3rd-rate celebrities?

Utterly Meaningless Award Shows • What will win "Choice Greatest Reality Moment" this year? We can hardly wait.

Low-Carb Products From Hell • What? You weren't aware that you'd have to cleanse your colon manually?

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